Not Okay
by marrymerollins
Summary: "Where there is no struggle, there is no strength." Sethlyn, Ambreigns.
1. Chapter 1

Dean sat on a barstool at the end of the lengthy bar, drowning in Captain Morgan. A frown was set in the young man's face as he delved deep in to his deep and depressing thoughts. As much as he hated to admit it, he had been questioning everything lately - things that wouldn't cross the average person's mind more than once or twice in their lifetime.

'Was anything really with the effort anymore?"

He often found himself pondering things of this nature. A question that crossed his mind constantly chilled him to the very bone. He couldn't figure out the answer.

'Do I really want to live anymore?'

Whenever he thought of this, another thought infiltrated his mind.

'Roman Reigns.'

Dean wouldn't admit it, but he was falling for the Samoan, and found himself unable to help it. He'd found himself starting at the man with an interest. As his eyes would skim over the powerhouse of the Shield, a smile would spread across his face; not his usual, cocky smirk, but a genuine smile that rarely ever graced his face.

But, nonetheless, Dean knew that Roman wouldn't feel the same way. Why would he? He was a lunatic, what chance did he have with someone like Roman. Her probably didn't even swing for Dean's team.

So Dean took a last swig of his rum, and ordered another shot.

He really needed to get wasted tonight.

XxX

Kaitlyn sat on the edge of the bathtub. A black bath towel sat on her lap, and a shiny razor was in her right hand. She ran the cool metal against her finger tips. She felt something wet hit her fore arm and looked down, examining the slight puddle of water on her arm. She began wiping at her eyes.

"Really?" She growled to no one in particular. "I'm fucking crying?" She wiped her bloodshot eyes free of tears and bright the razor down on her wrist. The sharp metal dug in to her wrist, giving her the release she craved. She bit her lip as she repeated the process over and over again. The blood trailed down her arm and she almost smiled. She started at the bloody, crimson mess she'd made for a few minutes, but a knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts.

"Kait? It's Seth, I know you're in there. I tried calling your phone, and it went off by the door." A raspy voice spoke.

"J-just a second Seth, I'll be out in a second!" Kaitlyn panicked and began cleaning up as quickly as she could. She grabbed the sweatshirt she'd discarded on the floor earlier and threw it on, keeping the sleeves down. She looked around. She knew she didn't exactly have time to clean, so she decided to do what she could and just keep Seth out of the bathroom. She threw her razor in the medicine cabinet and quickly used eye drops in a desperate attempt to get the redness to go away. She walked out of the bathroom and opened the door to the hotel room.

"Hey." Seth said with a charming smile.

"Hey." She replied. He lifted up a plastic bag.

"I brought every SAW movie and chips," He stepped inside. "So we're haning out tonight." Kaitlyn smiled and they walked over to the TV, put in the first movie, and let the movie marathon commence.

XxX

Three hours later, Dean felt a large hand on his shoulder. He turned around and saw a pair of icy blue eyes.

"C'mon Dean. You've had enough." Roman spoke, his tone serious. Dean sighed and grudgingly got up, left money on the bar, and walked out with Roman. They sat in silence as Roman drove.

"On a scale of 1-10, how drunk would you say you are right now?" Roman asked after ten minutes of quiet. Dean shrugged.

"A 9.9, I guess." Roman sighed and continued driving.

"And the chances of you remembering tonight are?"

"Nonexistent."

"I guess its time to let the cat out of the bag, then."

"Cat?" Dean slurred. "What cat? We have a cat?" Roman sighed.

"Dean, I'm gay." Dean looked up.

"You are?" Roman stiffly nodded. "Wow." Roman looked at him.

"What?" Roman asked.

"Nothing, I just thought that -"

"Thought what?" Roman asked eagerly.

"I thought I was the only one..." Dean looked down and played with his hands.

"You're gay?" Roman asked, somewhat shocked. Dean shook his head.

"Bi. But I'm interested in a guy right now." Dean stated. "Well a lot more than interested. I honestly think I'm in love with him." Roman looked over at him.

"Who?" Dean's green eyes looked in to Roman's blue ones for a split second before he looked back on to the road.

"You promise not to tell?" Dean asked in an innocent voice. Roman chuckled at Dean.

"Yes Dean, I promise."

"Pinky promise?" Dean asked, still sounding child like. Roman laughed lightly again before linking pinkies with Dean.

"Pinky promise."

"Roman, I'm in love with you." Roman's ice blue eyes widened. He kept quiet for a while, thinking what was just said to him through.

"No you don't." He finally said after a lengthy pause. Dean looked up.

"What do you mean?"

"Look at me, Dean!" Roman sighed. "I'm not lovable. All I'm good for is wrestling. Nothing more."

"Roman?" Dean asked quietly. "Do you love me? Like the way I love you?"

"More than you'll ever know."

XxX

Kaitlyn had fallen asleep halfway through the second movie. How, Seth had no clue; he'd been terrified for all of them. He looked at his watch and sighed. It was 2:30 in the morning and he really didn't want to walk back to his room. He knew Kait wouldn't mind him spending the night, so he maneuvered her off of the couch and gently shook her awake.

"Kait, wake up." Her hazel eyes fluttered open and looked up.

"You're spending the night, aren't you?" Kaitlyn guessed. Seth nodded. "There are two beds, so you don't have to sleep on the couch." She got up and walked over to her bed, an promptly fell down on to it, falling back in to a relaxing sleep. Seth yawned and rubbed his eyes. He looked over and saw that Kaitlyn was already asleep. He smiled slightly at her sleeping figure.

'She's so beautiful.' Seth thought to himself. Suddenly, he felt a headache coming on. He walked in to the bathroom and blindly reached in to the medicine cabinet. He felt his finger prick the corner of something sharp.

"The fuck?" He asked himself. He looked inside and pulled out a razor, still wet with blood. He felt his heart drop in to his stomach and his eyes widened with panic. He took the razor in hand and walked back towards Kait's bed. Knowing she was a heavy sleeper, he gently tugged on her sleeve enough to reveal her fore arm. His eyes widened, even more, if possible, at the sight.

Kaitlyn's left arm was completely mutilated. Old scars and new cuts littered her wrist. Seth kicked himself for not figuring it out sooner. He shook Kaitlyn awake, knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep until he talked with her about this.

"Kait, wake up, we need to talk." He watched as the diva sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Kait, what's on your wrist?" He asked quietly. She looked down and realized her wrist was exposed. Panic built up in Kaitlyn and she couldn't speak.

"I-it's nothing." She finally managed to get out.

"Kait," his voice was soft. He took her wrist and turned it upwards. "This," he stated, gesturing to the cuts on her wrist. "Isn't nothing. This is a big deal."

"You won't tell anyone, will you?" She pleaded. Seth sighed.

"No, but please let me try to help you?" His brown eyes showed his honesty, and for the first time in God only knows how long, she felt loved.

"Okay." She muttered. It was barely audible, but it was there. He smiled at her sand she forced one back. He approached her slowly and gave her a hug. She immediately hugged him back. She didn't know why, but she loved the way he hugged. Then again, at this rate, she loved everything about him.

'Hell, I love him in general.' Her eyes snapped open at that, and she felt a fear pick up in her.

'Oh my god, I'm in love with my best friend.'

XxX

So that's it for now! Comment, vote, all that jazz. Also, if you guys wouldn't mind, please go follow my instagram wrestling fan page. It's marrymerollins. Thank you guys!(:


	2. Chapter 2

Dean awoke the next morning with a throbbing headache. He groaned and rubbed his temple.

"What the hell happened last night?" He mumbled. He jumped when a voice across the room answered him.

"Well, you got completely trashed, I picked you up from the bar, and brought you back. You promptly passed the fuck out." Roman spoke. Dean nodded, and looked at the Samoan man, noticing that he was being handed two Advil.

"Thanks." Dean spoke. Roman simply nodded, before moving on to another topic. "So Seth never came home last night." Dean looked up.

"Really?" Roman nodded.

"I think he stayed with Kait." Dean groaned.

"When is he gonna grow a set and ask her out?" Roman shrugged.

"Is it just me, or has she been acting weird lately?" Roman asked. Dean contemplated this, before nodding.

"She doesn't seem as happy anymore." Dean thought aloud. Roman nodded.

"That's what I was thinking. She almost seems depressed." Dean agreed.

"Seth'll probably figure out what's going on." The two nodded, followed by an awkward silence. After several minutes, Dean spoke.

"So why'd you lie to me?" Dean asked, breaking the silence. Roman looked confused.

"What?"

"Well, I didn't think I'd remember last night, but it's all coming back to me." Roman felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Dean remembered? Roman sighed.

"Look, I know you don't feel the sa-"

"You jump to conclusions entirely too quickly." Dean interrupted. Roman sighed. "You ever hear the saying 'The truth comes out when you're drunk'? Cause it's true." Roman stayed quiet. "Ro, I really care about you."

"Dean, I care about you more than you know, trust me."

"Then why don't we give it a shot?" Dean asked. Roman simply shrugged. He really didn't have a reason, other than fearing how it could end. "I'm willing to try it if you are, and if you want, we can keep it quiet. We don't have to announce it to the whole world, just who we want to know." Dean recommended. After staying quiet for a while, Roman nodded.

"Okay." Dean smiled at the man in front of him. "But," Roman spoke again, louder than before. "we need to work with you on this drinking thing." Dean sighed.

"I know..." Dean spoke quietly. "It runs in my family, alcoholism. I really want to stop, but I feel like I can't." Roman nodded.

"Well we need to work on that as soon as we can. But, you never showered last night, so go do that now cause you smell like beer."

"You coming with me?" Dean asked, smirking. Roman rolled his grey eyes.

"Get your ass in the shower." Dean laughed and walked towards the bathroom. Once he was sure that Dean was in the shower, he ran over to his phone and called Seth.

"Hello?" Seth answered.

"Hey, where are you?"

"Oh, I spent the night with Kaitlyn."

"Oh, alright. Hey, do you know what's up with her? She seems depressed lately." He noticed Seth's hesitation.

"Let me get outside, I don't want her to hear me." After a few seconds, Roman heard the click of a door shutting. "Look, I'll tell you, but you need to tell me a secret so I know you're not gonna say anything." Roman nodded.

"Fair enough. I'm gay."

"Wait, what? Since when?!"

"A few months now, I think. Oh, and I'm dating Dean." Roman chuckled, thinking about how shocked Seth must've been.

"Please tell me that just happened and I'm not a dumbass that couldn't pick up on it."

"It became official probably five minutes ago." He heard Seth's relieved sigh and laughed. "Anyway, what's going on with Kaitlyn?" He heard Seth sigh again, but this time, it was a sad one.

"I have no clue what to do, Ro. Last night I went to take some Advil and I reached in to the medicine cabinet and I felt something prick my finger. I looked inside to see what it was and it was a razor blade." Roman's eyes widened. "She was asleep and I pushed up her sleeve cause she's a heavy sleeper. Her arm was all sorts of fucked up. There were a few old cuts, but she definitely just started again."

"This isn't like Kait... wonder what triggered it." He spoke.

"I have to go, Kait's waking up. I'll get in touch with you later."

"Save me the trouble, tell her about me and Dean."

"Will do." Roman hung the phone up before walking in to the hotel room. He looked up and saw Dean, washed and fully clothed, sitting on the recliner watching TV.

"What was that about?" Dean asked. Roman sighed.

"It was Seth, I was asking him about Kait. I told him about us too, he seems pretty happy." Dean nodded.

"So what's going on with Kait?" Roman sighed.

"Seth said he found a razor blade and that her arm was all cut up." Dean's eyes widened.

"What? Are we taking about the same Kait?" Roman nodded.

"Unfortunately." Dean shook his head.

"This is so unlike her. She knows she can come to us for anything, but she decides to cut herself instead? What would have been so bad that she felt she had to cut herself instead of talking to someone?"

"Maybe it's something we couldn't stop." Roman pointed out. Dean sighed, putting his head in his hands. "Dean? Did you notice she's been flinching away from people? Guys in particular?" Dean nodded.

"Yeah, she jumps whenever I put a hand on her shoulder." He spoke, realizing Roman was on to something.

"Well, someone probably did something to make her distrustful of men." Roman spoke. Dean nodded, sighing afterwards.

"Let's face it, if something happened, she'll never admit it." Roman agreed sadly. To Roman and Dean, Kait was a little sister. They really cherished the friendship between the three of them because they could tell her anything and vice-versa.

Well, at least they thought she could tell them anything.


End file.
